"Begin early. Shave yourself." (You see, it’s a "Gillette Safety Razor," and nobody can cut themselves with one of those…)
Here are ten examples of advertising for babies that might be a tad deceptive. For the most part, I’ve let the ad copy speak for itself. (All the ads can be enlarged with a click.)
Because of all the things a mother may wish for her baby girl, her fondest wish of all is for her baby girl to have "That Schoolgirl Complexion."
The actual ad copy: "For a better start in life start cola earlier! How soon is too soon? Not soon enough. Laboratory tests over the last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during that early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and "fitting in" during those awkward pre-teen and teen years. So, do yourself a favor. Do your child a favor. Start them on a strict regimen of sodas and other sugary carbonated beverages right now, for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness. – The Soda Pop Board of America. Promotes Active Lifestyle! Boosts Personality! Gives body essential sugars!" For more on this ad go here>> Or here>>
"Before you scold me, Mom… maybe you better light up a Marlboro. Yes, you need never feel over-smoked… That’s the Miracle of Marlboro!"’
Hold your baby right up to the light: "Sun lamp can’t burn! Amazing new sun lamp is absolutely safe – yet gives you a Luxurious Golden Health Tan. DuPont Polyester Film blocks out harmful burning rays – passes only long tanning rays no matter how long you choose to stay under it."
"Why we have the youngest customers in the business."
"This young man is 11 months old – and he isn’t our youngest customer by any means. For 7-Up is so pure, so wholesome, you can even give it to babies and feel good about it. Look at the back of a 7-Up bottle. Notice that all our ingredients are listed. (That isn’t required of soft drinks, you know – but we’re proud to do it and we think you’re pleased that we do.)"
"By the way, Mom, when it comes to toddlers – if they like to be coaxed to drink their milk, try this: Add 7-Up to the milk in equal parts, pouring the 7-Up gently into the milk. It’s a wholesome combination – and it works! Make 7-Up your family drink. You like it…it likes you!"
"Nothing does it like Seven-Up!"
What if Motherhood is getting to be a bit of a strain? That’s okay. "Gee, Mommy, you sure enjoy your Marlboro. Yes, you need never feel over-smoked…That’s the Miracle of Marlboro!"’
And what better to go with your smoke than a beer?
"How Mother and Baby ‘Picked Up.’ A case of Blatz Beer in your home means much to the young mother, and obviously baby participates in its benefits. The malt in the beer supplies nourishing qualities that are essential at this time and the hops act as an appetizing, stimulating tonic. Blatz Milwaukee. Always the same good old Blatz."
This is the ad for supermodels who want to bring their babies to the photo shoot. "A kiss is not just a kiss. Bisou Bisou Nouvelle Couture."
And the Deceptology Award for
"Most Responsible" Advertisement goes to:
"Iver Johnson Revolvers are not toys: they shoot straight and kill. You may need one only once in your life: buy now, so you will have it at that time. Accidental Discharge Impossible. Absolutely Safe. Safety Hammerless Automatic. $6. "Papa says it won’t hurt us." Send for our fire-arms encyclopedia."
– Vintage Ad Browser>>
– Vintage Deceptive Advertising, Found in Mom’s Basement>>
– Old Creepy Ads, Weirdomatic>>
– Old Ads – Just for Fun! Danandjanean.com>>
– Seven Months? Seven-Up! Kitchen Retro>>
Oh, and did you catch the fake ad?