He don’t want to marry a woman with false parts

He don't want to marry a woman with false parts
"I would as soon take a ten dollar counterfeit bill on the Codfish Bank of Newfoundland, as to marry a woman with false teeth, false hair or a false bosom."


In the 19th Century, some writers used comic dialect to create homespun characters who spoke with "rustic humor." The original quote, with Mr. Billing’s original grammar and spelling:

"I wud as soon take a ten dollar kounterfit bill on the Kodfish Bank ov Nufoundland, as tu marry a woman with false hare, false teeth or a false buzzum."

That’s Josh Billings, from the book Josh Billings, Hiz Sayings (1871) You can download his whole book and "puzzul it owt fer yersef."

And no, I ‘m not quite sure why this was considered funny.

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One thought on “He don’t want to marry a woman with false parts

  1. The caption for the above picture should read: "Josh Billings wants to know why it is that so many women who are so thin in the face, stick out so everywhere else."

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