Revenge with a can of stew
From the book Flying Tigers – the Mighty Tiger: Adventures Of An Unlikely Pilot:
Bill told me that he and Jerry had been thrown out of a bar somewhere in Asia and vowed to get revenge. After sufficient time had passed to ensure the bartenders forgetfulness, they went back and seated themselves at the bar. Behind the bar, was the same surly bartender, but he failed to recognize them. The bartender also failed to notice that Bill carried with him an opened can of stew.
They both ordered drinks. The bartender turned around and grabbed a bottle of scotch and a bottle of Country Club off the rack on the wall behind him, made their drinks, and put the bottles back.
Meanwhile, gagging slightly, Bill was trying his best to look ill. The bartender noticed and asked Bill if he felt all right.
"Yeah, I’m ?ne," Bill burped. Chugalugging his drink, he asked for another round for both of them, softly gagging again.
"Please fella, if you’re feeling sick, take your drink into the toilet. No messes in here," the bartender pleaded.
"NoulpI’ll be okay."
As the bartender turned his back to them to grab the bottles to make another round of drinks, Bill poured the can of stew out on the bar in front of himself, put a generous portion in his mouth, and dabbled some gravy down his chin. Then he made his best vomiting noise and was spitting out chunks of stew just as the bartender turned around.
"Oh, no! Fella, didn’t I tell you to take your drink to the toilet?" the bartender moaned, blanching at the sight of the dark gruel spewing from Bill’s mouth and the ghastly mess on the countertop.
Just as the bartender was holding his bar towel away from him at arm’s length and preparing to wipe up Bill’s "vomit," Jerry stayed the bartender’s arm with one hand, while he plunged his other hand into the stew. Plopping some of the stew into his own mouth, Jerry smacked his lips with gusto, crammed second and third helpings into his mouth, and then held his hand out offering some "vomit" to the bartender exclaiming, "Oh, man. This stuff is great: you gotta try some." But, the bartender could take no more. The poor fellow dropped his towel on the bar, turned around, and projectile vomited on his bottles at the back of the bar. While he was still upchucking, Bill and Jerry scraped the remains of the stew back into the can, cleaned up with the bar towel, then quietly left, leaving the bartender to clean up his own mess.
From the book Flying Tigers – the Mighty Tiger: Adventures Of An Unlikely Pilot by Joe Brenner>>