A poop and fart practical joke story, from 1515

Modern culture did not invent this type of humor

The following is based on one of the tales of Till Eulenspiegel, a German trickster character.

If you're not into scatological humor from 1515, please skip this story.

Ollie and the Innkeeper

Ollie went on a trip to Cologne, where he stayed at a hotel for a few days without letting anyone know who he was. While he was staying there, he noticed that the innkeeper was kind of a scoundrel and treated people very badly. Ollie thought that any guests of this guy would not do well staying at his hotel, so Ollie vowed to find another place to stay.

That night he told the innkeeper he was going to look for another place to stay. The innkeeper showed all the other guests to their rooms, but ignored Ollie.

Ollie said, "Excuse me, but I paid as much for my room as they did for theirs, and you showed them to their rooms but didn't show me to my room. Where am I supposed to sleep, on this bench in the dining room?"

The innkeeper said, "You know what? I think you need some sheets," and he farted loudly.

Then the innkeeper farted again and said, "And look, there's your pillow!"

Then he farted a third time, and this was the worst one yet. It stunk up the whole room.

"There you go, there's your entire bed. Sleep here until morning, then leave them in a pile for me so I can find everything together!"

Ollie said nothing, but he thought, "I think one good scoundrel deserves another."

That night he slept on the bench.

The innkeeper had a beautiful folding table in his dining room. Ollie opened up the leaves, dropped his pants, took a huge shit on top of the table, and then folded the table up again.

In the morning, Ollie went to the innkeeper's room and said, "Thank you for your hospitality."

Then Ollie let loose with a huge smelly fart and said, "Those are the feathers from your featherbed. I left the pillow, sheets and covers all together in a pile."

The innkeeper said, "Thank you. I will look after them as soon as I get out of bed."

"Don't worry, just look around and you'll find them all right," said Ollie.

And then Ollie left the hotel.

The innkeeper expected lots of guests for lunch, and he told them they should eat at his beautiful folding table. When he opened up the leaves of his table, he smelled a revolting stench, and saw the pile of shit.

"He gives as good as he gets! He paid for my farts with his own shit," said the innkeeper.

Then the innkeeper sent after Ollie, because he wanted to get to know him better. Ollie returned, and they appreciated each other's gags so much that, from then on, whenever Ollie was in town, he got a good bed.

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