Kristie at work
SHAMEFUL stripper Christina Gamble collected almost $25,000 on disability – while stripping at a local nudie joint!
Attractive Christina Gamble (apt stage name: "Kristie Kreme") collected worker’s compensation payments even while dancing nude at C.R. Fanny’s Gentlemen’s Club and Sports Bar in Quakertown, Pennsylvania.
Kristie "claims" she fell and hurt her back at a restaurant in 2007, and that she couldn’t even stand or "change positions."
Photos of her smearing applesauce and jello on her fellow naked dancers are not available at this time. And there are unconfirmed reports that she participated in the club’s "frozen thong" challenge.
A source said: "I thought she was the most flexible dancer in the whole place. If that’s what a back injury can do for you, sign me up!"
Gamble was arraigned this week on multiple counts of insurance fraud and one count of theft by deception and released on her own recognizance.
It could not be confirmed whether a boyfriend was involved.
How much of this story is true?
The news story above is not entirely true. I embellished it to make some points. But before you read the actual Associated Press story, can you guess what’s true and what’s fake in the above story?
I know you won’t go back and read it again, but if you scan it quickly there are some things that might jump out as false, and others that just sound true.
To compare, here’s the real story from the Associated Press:
A Pennsylvania woman is facing insurance fraud charges after authorities say she worked as a stripper while collecting worker’s compensation payments. The state Attorney General’s office said 43-year-old Christina Gamble, of Quakertown, collected thousands of dollars in insurance payments while working at C.R. Fanny’s Gentlemen’s Club and Sports Bar.
According to a complaint, Gamble claimed she fell and hurt her back while working at a restaurant in 2007 and told a doctor it was difficult for her to stand or change positions. Authorities say she received more than $22,000 in disability benefits.
Gamble was arraigned Thursday on two counts of insurance fraud and one count of theft by deception and released on her own recognizance.
A phone listing for Gamble could not immediately be located.
Without critiquing the original AP story, here’s what I changed:
"Shameful" is my moralistic reporter tone judgment call.
In the original article, "Authorities say she received more than $22,000 in disability benefits." I use "almost $25,000."
The original article says "she received thousands of dollars in insurance payments while working." So the $22,000 in disability benefits was the total amount she received, and only "thousands of dollars" (we don’t know the exact amount) were the payments she received while she was simultaneously working at the club.
An "apt stage name" means that it’s a name that would be suitable, but doesn’t mean it was her stage name. I don’t know her actual stage name. I made up "Kristie Kreme." Because it’s apt.
Putting "claims" in quotes insinuates that she’s lying. I could have used "said."
Putting "change positions" in quotes is merely obvious salaciousness.
Photos "are not available at this time" because I have no photos. Other dancers have photos of themselves smeared in applesauce and jello, so it’s possible that Christie might have photos, too. But since the photos weren’t on the strip club’s web site, those photos "are not available at this time." Maybe those photos will never become available, because they don’t even exist.
The "unconfirmed reports that she participated in the club’s "frozen thong" challenge" are "unconfirmed reports" because I define "reports" as evidence that she might have a photo or photos based on the other photos I found of woman participating in the "frozen thong challenge." They are "unconfirmed" because I haven’t found any "frozen thong" photos of her yet.
And no, I don’t know the exact details of the "frozen thong challenge."
A source said: "I thought she was the most flexible dancer in the whole place. If that’s what a back injury can do for you, sign me up!" Since I define a source as "someone that supplies information," that source was me.
"It could not be confirmed whether a boyfriend was involved." I can’t confirm if she even has a boyfriend. So maybe she has a boyfriend, or maybe she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and maybe he is involved, or not. And maybe "involved" means he was involved, meaning he was involved with her, as her boyfriend, not a criminal co-conspirator.
The photo labeled "Kristie at work" is an actual photo from the club’s web site. I don’t know if it’s the same Kristie as the one in the article, though.
"C.R. Fanny’s Gentlemen’s Club and Sports Bar" is really the name of the place, which is likely a strip club with TVs tuned in to ESPN.
While it’s not deceptive per se, I do admire the lovely pairing of the bad pun "C. R. Fannys" (see our fannies) with the elegant term "Gentleman’s Club." And I notice that it’s also a "Sports Bar," which is a way to diversify the marketing, so you can say to your customers: "Hey, if any of you gentleman don’t want to look at naked ladies, we also have Sports!"
Or perhaps it’s a way to honestly tell the wife: "But honey, really, I was just at a Sports Bar with the guys."
Finally, the most deceptive thing about this entire post is using a story about a stripper to talk about linguistic manipulation.
Here’s the strip club’s web site>>